LOST TUNNELS is out!

So as many of you know, I’ve been working on a horror novella for quite some time now. Well, it’s now available on Kindle as an e-book!

That’s right, after months and months of writing and editing, Lost Tunnels has finally been unleashed on the public. If you like Lovecraft, Stephen King or grindhouse horror, you should get a kick out of Lost Tunnels.

You can purchase it now on Amazon here, though if you’re outside the USA, you’ll need to visit the Amazon site relevant for your own country. You can even read a preview, to get a taste of whether it's your thing or not. Hope you enjoy it – and if not, that you’ll let a friend know who may enjoy it more!

Braun Strowman (WWE Elite Series 58)

Ah, Mattel. You inspire such mixed feelings in toy fans. You’ve done some great lines (like DC Universe Classics and Masters of the Universe Classics) while also consistently refusing to listen to fans, making questionable management decisions, skimping on accessories and generally conflating “bare minimum” with “great work”.  

But one thing Mattel does do well is wrestling figures. Sure, not all of them are perfect – but they pump them out at a frighteningly fast rate, they consistently improve the quality and the pricepoint has been maintained at a reasonable level. So today, we’ll take a look at their most recent version of WWE’s terrifying heel Braun Strowman.

I’m pretty newly returned to wrestling, so I haven’t really seen Strowman's ascent to stardom. But from a newcomer’s perspective, he’s pretty likeable – and he’s getting a bit of a push at the moment, having recently won the 50-man Royal Rumble. Unlike certain other wrestlers we could name, he seems to have both the charisma and in-ring skills to leverage it successfully.

Strowman has had a couple of Elite figures before – once in Series 44, which depicted him in his Wyatt family garb, and another in Series 52 which came with a wheeled stretcher. Though all share some parts, this one looks to be a virtual re-release of the Series 52 figure; the primary difference at first glance is the head, though a closer examination reveals a few different paint apps on the pants. 

The likeness in the sculpt is quite good, much better than the (okay) paint would suggest. I’m sure there are already customisers out there already working on better paint jobs, but I’m happy enough with what I have. Normally I prefer more neutral faces on action figures, and Mattel certainly has a mixed record for delivering yelling faces. But for Strowman I’ll make an exception; he is a big unit who spends a lot of time yelling at his opponents. 

This makes for a fun figure, but he’s certainly not perfect. Though his articulation is mostly pretty good, his shoulders appear to be on pegs, rather than swivels. His arm movement is considerably more restricted than…well, any other Elite figure I own. This is a problem, because unlike many of his bigger WWE brethren, Strowman can actually wrestle, rather than simply delivering big hits. Additionally, the beard means it’s all but impossible to turn his head.

Paint is solid, especially on the tattoos. It’s a shame he doesn’t have any stubble on the sides of his head, but at this price point I think it’s a forgivable admission.

Accessory-wise, he comes with an ambulance door (not pictured), and a stand with a stylised portrait of Strowman on it (also not pictured). The stand is handy, but I’m so-so about the portrait that it comes with. Personally, I preferred the backstage diorama look from previous series. What would be far better is interchangeable hands. I’m sure I’m not the first person to express this sentiment, but it would really take things to the next level. One open hand and one fist is okay, but it would be good to be able to get a bit more variety -- especially considering the guy's catchphrase is literally "Get these hands". 

Braun Strowman is a solid figure that looks great on the shelf, but the lack of shoulder articulation definitely hurts him. Also, given Strowman's inclusion in this week's Money in the Bank match and his overall popularity, it seems more than likely that we'll see more more Strowman merch in the near future. Recommended for diehard fans, but not strictly necessary if you picked up the Series 52 version. 

POP! WWE - The Iron Sheik

Pro wrestling has always been known for its larger-than-life characters, but in the WWF’s golden era of the 80s and early 90s, they went REALLY big. Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage, Ultimate Warrior…and of course, the subject of today’s review, the Iron Sheik.  

Born Hossein Khosrow Ali Vaziri (or حسین خسرو علی وزیری in his native Persian), the Iron Sheik was once a real Graeco-Roman wrestler, and former soldier in the Imperial Iranian Army, who moved to America and burst into the zany world of professional wrestling. Arriving in the then-WWF as the Iron Sheik, he’d grow to become one of the best-known heels in the history of wrestling.

Iron Sheik’s gimmick was questionable, even by the looser standards of the 1980s. Presented primarily as a sinister Middle Eastern heel to Hulk Hogan’s All-American babyface, he’d show up in the ring holding banners depicting the real-life monster Ayatollah Khomeini and denounce the American way of life. It was pretty edgy at the time and generated a lot of heat in the ring, but it seems pretty tasteless to modern eyes. Even more so when you look at the way aspects of the Cold War were played out in the region, all while this stuff was all airing…

There was plenty of drama in the ring, and it was far more extreme outside. Drug addiction consumed much of Vaziri’s life from the 1980s, and one of his daughters was murdered in 2003. In tandem with other events and injuries, his career and earning potential were derailed numerous times.

Still, he’s enjoyed something of a comeback in more recent years, establishing himself as something of a NSFW Twitter sensation. In character as his wrestling persona, the Iron Sheik shoots off all manner of profane insults at anyone and everyone, naturally reserving his worst bile for Hulk Hogan. Naturally enough, this means that he’s the ideal character to be rendered in the kid-friendly Funko POP style!

The POP looks fairly true to his peak attire; he’s wearing a white keffiyeh and a pair of paisley print trunks. His signature curled-toe wrestling boots have been sculpted, which is a great detail. All in all, pretty good attention to detail. There’s a Chase version which features a red keffiyeh, which is cool but non-essential.    

Now, Iron Sheik doesn’t seem to be flying off the shelves at the same speed as many of his WWE contemporaries. Granted, he doesn’t have the same profile among younger fans as someone like The Undertaker, but it does seem like a bit of a shame. Nonetheless, this does mean you should be able to pick him up for a reasonable price.  

Though there’s already been a “Hollywood” Hogan POP, there isn’t currently an era-accurate figure of the Hulkster to face off against the Iron Sheik. Given Hulk’s currently dubious status with the WWE, we’re unlikely to get one anytime soon. Of course, with the recently released Jake the Snake, you can re-enact one particular feud…

Iron Sheik is an interesting piece of wrestling history, marking a bygone era of WWF/WWE. While plenty of wrestlers are still big personalities, the reduced emphasis on kayfabe and greater real-life awareness of scandals in the industry has drastically changed the way the industry works. For better and for worse, the squared circle is unlikely to have anyone like the Iron Sheik step inside ever again.  

Lupine Film Club - Hereditary

Contains major spoilers – do not read if you want to go in unprepared. THIS IS YOUR FIRST AND ONLY WARNING.

Well, it's been almost a year since the last instalment of the Lupine Film Club. Thank you all for your patience; 

A friend sent me the trailer for Hereditary earlier this year, and I was immediately intrigued. When you’ve been watching horror for as long as I have, you get pretty wise to the tropes and clichés of the genre, and it’s easy to get a little jaded about the whole thing. I mean, the yearly franchise stuff that gets churned out like Saw or The Conjuring series is fun and all – but it’s nice to have something with a little more style and substance.

Based on that trailer, Hereditary definitely looked the goods. Having now seen it, I certainly agree it has a lot more style than your average franchise fare. The substance…well, I’m still not totally certain yet. But it absolutely did certainly throw my expectations for a loop.

Going in, I assumed that Hereditary would be a pretty straightforward ghost story. The grandma dies, the little girl is a conduit for her ghost (or at least something malign imitating it) and all manner of weird stuff unfolds from there. Nothing particularly original, but that’s okay. The successful execution of a well-worn formula can be very satisfying in its own right.  

But this isn’t quite how things play out. The film starts off this way, complete with “is it real or not” visions of the deceased grandmother – but not long afterwards, the little girl we’ve been assuming is the villain is brutally killed in a car accident. Her ant-riddled head on the roadside must surely be one of the most iconic (and disturbing) scenes in horror cinema this year.

From here, the film movies into more of an extended meditation on grief and dysfunctional family dynamics. This is arguably where the film is at its strongest, as it wrestles with some uncomfortable questions that none of us really like to address – what if we aren’t sad that a family member is dead? What if we don’t really love our kids? How do you deal with survivor’s guilt? And how do you cope with a family member who’s in the midst of a breakdown?

Throughout all of this, the cast is solid but not especially sympathetic. Toni Collette easily acquits herself as the film’s primary likeable character. Gabriel Byrne is fine, but he doesn’t blow you away; anyone could have played the role, really. Milly Shapiro is particularly disconcerting as the introverted (and unlikeable) daughter. But the primary weak link is Alex Wolff, who plays half his scenes well and the other half as though he was portraying a 9-year old who’s afraid of the dark.  

After a séance, more overtly supernatural elements begin to emerge, causing issues for all the surviving members of the family. New Age figures like John Edwards and Alison DuBois tend to present the image that the dead are happy to hear from us and have plenty of nice words to pass on. But what if the dead were angry – justifiably angry, even – at the way they had been treated by their family?

It’s an interesting idea, but it ends up being another red herring – for the ghost is no ghost at all. Rather, as we discover fairly late in the piece, it’s a demon prince named Paimon, masquerading as deceased loved ones. Now, Paimon is a name that will likely be unfamiliar to you, unless you have an active interest in the occult and demonology. Kudos to the filmmakers for going in a slightly different direction for the supernatural foe, but it does create an issue with the film’s ending that I’ll detail a little more below.   

Hereditary effectively builds mood and tension throughout the piece, but it comes with some flaws. It’s a shade over two hours long, and it absolutely feels longer. It also plays pretty fast and loose with its own “rules” about the supernatural. Towards the end, strange stuff seemingly happens solely for the sake of being weird and/or violent. This is not a bad thing in principle, but I’m not quite sure Hereditary establishes its own dream logic or surrealism effectively and early enough to allow for some of its own conceits. Which brings us to the Suspiria and Wicker Man­-inspired twist ending!

It's a bold departure from the rest of the film, and it’s sure to polarise audiences. There are definitely clues peppered throughout as to the true nature of Paimon (even hidden in the soundtrack) – but unless you’re unusually conversant in Western Esotericism, you’re probably not going to spot them. Sure, you can do the reading and be impressed at the level of detail afterwards, but I don’t think this should be a prerequisite. Twists need to be effectively telegraphed; audiences should be able to go “Aha!” when they eventuate, drawing new significance from earlier elements in the film with this fresh knowledge in mind. 

Hereditary doesn’t exactly cheat on this front, but I’d argue that it does play on the audience’s assumed ignorance to force an extra level of bizarreness in the final scene. By contrast, Skeleton Key and The Wicker Man played similar moves much more effectively. The relevant lore and mythos was gradually introduced throughout the respective pieces, and then twisted at the final moment for an horrific reveal. Here, it feels a little more shoehorned in, though I suspect some will argue that it’s a natural extension of the occult themes that the film explores. 

These issues aside, Hereditary is well worth your time and money. It’s creepy, unsettling, sticks with you long after the credits have rolled and though it wears its influences on its sleeve, it feels remarkably fresh. To cap things off, it has a fantastic soundtrack too. Ultimately, I don’t know whether Hereditary will be the best horror movie of 2018, but I can almost certainly guarantee it will be the most talked-about.